Nation Fluid

I’ve given this a lot of thought. I guess there’s no point in hiding it anymore. It seems most pseudo-celebrities have jumped on this bandwagon and the occasional A-lister, too. I know this sounds terrible, but I think a few of them are doing it because it’s trendy. Like, “oh look at me, I can’t pick a side. Accept me anyways.”

God, don’t tell anyone I said that just now. That makes me sound so self loathing, and honestly, I love myself way too much. It’s excessive, really.

Anyways, I’m Nation Fluid. Meaning, I don’t identify with just one Nation, in case you lack Urban Dictionary proficiency. It’s kind of a new term, just barely 10 minutes old, but I’m willing to bet it’ll start catching on once I reveal my courageous story.

I started flirting with the idea about 10 years ago, which I know is late in the game to start questioning things. It all began when I studied abroad in Italy. I mean, how cliche is that? It’s also the first time I had salad without honey mustard dressing, so you could chalk it all up to typical college experimentation, I guess. I returned home to consume every bit of honey mustard dressing Central Florida had to offer, you guys. I thought it was out of my system.

how I survived Autumn 2005
how I survived Autumn 2005

I thought the moment had passed, and then it happened again when I went to Israel in 2010. I know, I’m just as stunned as you are. In the Holy Land, you guys.

By 2012 it happened again, but this time I actually got serious about it and decided to up and move to the UK. “May as well see what this is all about,” I thought. “It’s clearly not out of my system, no sense hiding it anymore.”

Come 2014 I was living in Ireland, and though I’m still here I have the sneaking suspicious I’m far from done.

If I’m being honest, I have no current plans to commit here or anywhere else. I change my affiliation depending on the day, really. It depends on how I’m feeling. Sometimes, when my British fiancee pronounces it “aluMINium,” I turn into this absurdly patriotic American. He did that via Facetime last time I was stateside, and my affinity towards America grew so much that I purchased an American flag swimsuit. True story.

And then there are days like today, when I just saw yet another made-up holiday mar my Facebook newsfeed (I don’t recall the actual “holiday” but it was something along the lines of “Happy Double Stuff Deep Fried Oreo day” or something followed by a shot of the person at work with the obligatory “I love my job!” caption), and I thought to myself “ugh, get some real holidays like us Europeans.”

word, John Waters
word, John Waters

I know some of you may think it necessary for me to commit, since society has conditioned us to only recognise one Nationality for everyone. It’s pretty bad, actually, there’s generally just a drop-down menu every time I fill out an online survey prompting me to select just one nation. The Landing Form you have to fill out when re-entering America only leaves enough space for one nation, so I often just leave it blank and wait to be escorted off by Homeland Security for some one on one questioning. This is my burden, for now at least.

So there you have it – I’m a Nation Fluid. This is who I am. Thanks in advance for your acceptance.

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