I’d like to put something to rest, y’all. I’ve noticed a certain misappropriation of resources, and it’s downright wasteful. Ordinarily I’m all “you do you” for any sort of non- food or environmental waste, because who am I to be like, “Stop buying shoes – you already have enough to arm a well-heeled army.” That would not only make me a hypocrite, but I’m also not looking to deprive you of your joy. I’m a good witch.

We all have our limits, however, and mine was reached today. Someone refrigerated my hot sauce at work. The nerve! Hot sauce = vinegar and peppers. Am I missing something? Is there something sure to spoil if you don’t keep it chilled at all times? Did someone sneak raw eggs into my hot sauce? Is there raw chicken bits floating around in there?

There is not, friends. Refrigerating hot sauce is asinine, and it’s a complete misappropriation of refrigeration resources.

There’s but limited space in a refrigerator, and I for one believe it should be reserved for ingredients that spoil. Fruit, veggies, cheese, meat, mayonnaise based products = refrigerate away. Spices, vinegars, oils, dry ingredients for baking, canned goods = DNR (do not refrigerate).

I don’t mean to take such a staunch stance, y’all, but this is a slippery slope. If you find hot sauce refrigeration to be an act of preservation despite no conclusive evidence of the sort, then I beg you to reconsider your stance. Sriracha should not chill the teeth. Franks Red HOT wasn’t meant to COOL, you fool. LOOK AT THE NAME.

This all reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where people sliced candy bars with forks and knives. It started innocently enough, with someone slicing into a candy bar with a fork and knife, but it wasn’t long before M&Ms were getting the same treatment. What sort of society is that?!

So, yeah, I’m asking that we all reduce our waste by not unnecessarily refrigerating hot sauce. If we can’t manage to do so, I fear it’ll be a short time before we’re all refrigerating any food-like object, and where does it stop? Are we supposed to chill our gum prior to chewing? Will we suddenly start refrigerating our tea bags? Where will the milk go? Will it be ousted in favor of ‘preserving’ honey?!

Not on my watch. I’m choosing to stop the unnecessary refrigeration of hot sauce, and I beg you to join me, before it’s too late.

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Pre-order my book, Roused – Above the Fray, which will be released as an ebook on Thursday Nov 16!