Hey there, strangers! How’s you today? Teed off at me for my weeks of inexplicable abandonment? Likely. Listen, we’re all prone to moments of neglect, and I’m not immune. I may seem like I’m some sort of superhuman/goddess hybrid, but the truth is I’m a pretty ordinary girl. Ordinary in a Diane Lane age-less beauty kind of way, but ordinary nonetheless.

And ordinary people stupidly make mistakes, like failing to thank their readers when they reach the first major blog milestone (1,000 user views in month One! Woooot!) and then off and disappearing for the better part of a month. The non-Winter part, that’s irrefutably the better part of October, and I missed it.

Normally, I don’t like to make it a habit of leaving you all high and dry without a euphemism or overly-contextualized story for more than a couple of days, but I selfishly went off and got hitched earlier this month. For those of you who’ve done this whole wedding thing, you feel me. It’s all consuming, and between the “thank you for coming”-ing and the “drop off the flowers at noon or your ass is grass”-ing, you don’t have a whole lot of free time to flex that creative writing muscle. I found it easier to shut off this part of my brain and just lean into the wedding-ing.

For you astute readers who are all, “but you got married like 3 weeks ago, that doesn’t account for 18 days when you could’ve been over-contextualizing and euphemizing your little heart out,” I say, “Firstly, the little heart comment is a bit of a dig, I don’t appreciate it. My heart is goddamn HUGE.” And then, “I was on a deserted island in Bali where they have a poo hose in most toilets in lieu of toilet paper if that helps to set the scene.”

Sooo yeah. I was going to leave that sweet hose detail as that necessary sliver of mystery between us that keeps our interactions exciting, but you all begged for an overshare. So there you have it.

Anyways, I’m back! It’s good to be home.