Ok y’all, I know we haven’t known one another for, well, more than a day, but I have something I need to get off my chest. No, not literally, you pervs. Christ, stop thinking about my chest now.
Ok here goes, no time like the present. No sense in just delaying the inevitable. You’ll find out anyways, and I’d like to control the messaging. It’s worse if I hide this from you, and you find out whilst I’m knee deep in Fran Fine quips with not a Yiddishuh phrase to right this ship.

I’m a Quotaholic.

Don’t look so surprised. I see your raised eyebrow emoticons, and I call bullshit. You saw this coming. I’ve been openly quoting and making references to anything I find the slightest bit humorous for years now. It’s a wonder I haven’t done permanent damage to my vocal chords.

If the situation allows it, and I often make said allowances as I speak, I’ll slip in a quote that neither my audience nor the vast majority of humankind will understand.

And the reality is, I don’t want to stop. Quoting is glorious, and it makes me happy. And happy people don’t kill their husbands. Ok that was a quote – cheers Legally Blonde.

Generally I quote TV shows that have long gone off air – Seinfeld, The Nanny, Arrested Development, Scrubs, and 30 Rock are among my favorites, but anything with a lackluster following and short lived lifespan is game for the referencing.

You’ve never felt such a high as a private joke that you share with yourself and the 12 others who watched the TV program 10+ years ago. You just haven’t, ok? It blows your opium out of the water, you 19th century naysayer.

Movies are not exempt from my references, as you saw earlier with my sweet-ass Legally Blonde ref. I usually don’t stay so mainstream as Elle Woods, though. I like to subsist in a random oft-neglected tributary. I recently quoted White Chicks and made an obscure reference to Big Business in the same sitting.

I’m not telling you about my incessant quoting as some form of blog intervention (blogervention? No that sounds like a convention of bloggers, but that isn’t likely to happen since we’d all have to put on pants and that’s just constrictive to our creative process, man).

The truth is, I don’t want to stop. I’ll keep quoting and referencing as long as the odd person gives me a sign of encouragement, not unlike “oh yeah I think I saw that show once.” That’s all I need, and someone always gives me that unwitting atta-girl.

I’ll take my panty dropper shot now, thank you very much (White Chicks quote – I’m not even sorry).